Why I like metal

I've had an on-again, off-again relationship with metal ever since my ears were lain privy to Delain around four years ago. I initially started listening to it because it pissed off my then-ladyfriend, and that amused me greatly. But then I started listening to it because I liked it. Before, the closest I'd come to metal was my mix CD with Puddle of Mudd on it (I can still sing along with half their songs) whichI listened to in my automobile.

This is my favourite album by any artist, of all time, forever. Both of Katzenjammer's albums are very close behind, but this one is very special to me. The lyrics are very uplifting, the harsh male vocals are not overpowering, and most importantly, it makes me feel fucking great. Even if I've had the shittiest day, I can put on April Rain and I instantly feel significantly better. And that's the power of metal -particularly symphonic metal. If feels epic, like a charge of electricity. The hooks and chorus lines are almost always spectacular. No other genre that I've experienced comes close to the physical and mental reaction to music like metal does.

And to be clear, I'm not really speaking of death, doom, or black metal; those are okay in my book, but most of the time the harsh vocals are too strong and too frequent. I understand the point of harsh vocals in metal, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. 95% of my metal listening trends through symphonic, gothic, and power metal. Nu-metal is pretty good, but the vocalist absolutely has to balance clean and harsh; In This Moment is good example of what I mean.

Second, metal albums have by far the best cover art in music. Just look at these, and tell me with a straight face that they don't imbue you with delusions of power and confidence. When I go for an interview, or back when I was at university, I would always blast some symphonic metal and it would get me jacked. FUCKIN' JACKED. Now I use it to get motivated about writing, since I'm about done with the outlining stage of my second novel. That's right: I'm a writer. Got a problem with that?

And those are only the ones I could think of from the top of my head. My Symphonic Metal folder has 46 albums, and my Rock/Metal 133. Nearly all of them have epic cover art like these. I don't really know when the trend started, but whoever initiated it, I thank them wholeheartedly.

I have to cut my fingernails again and I just trimmed them on Saturday. I wonder if I have finger cancer or something. I think that is likely.

Third, I like metal music because it is noise: loud, sometimes-revolting noise. I have found over the past two months that if I blast insane quantities of music into my ears, my hallucinations are muted. I know that means my hearing will eventually give out, but for right now it's mostly beneficial. Plus it means I can hear oodles of new tunage given that I listen to music about ten hours per day.

In This Moment was my first nu-metal band since (hed) PE, and I'm not even certain they qualify as nu-metal. It's all white noise to me, really, and the only reason I even listened to (hed) PE was to get with a woman who idolised them. (Yes, she was trashy.) I never actually did hook up with her since she was married, but it would have been worth the effort.

I just watched the first hour of War Horse and I almost fell asleep. It's all horse porn. It's basically an introductory bestiality film for amateurs or those wishing to stick their meat into a horse. I actually found it quite heinous. I fast-forwarded to try and find some war scenes, but that was so boring I quit trying.

Speaking of boring, I tried listening to Battlelore and the male vocals were terrible. It was listed as 'power metal,' which is fucking great, but it was pretty much all growling and growling is for assholes. I mean if you can't sing, why be a singer? Sure, I'm certain it takes a bit of skill, but I have yet to find a single growler who sounds melodic in the slightest. Harsh vocals, sure. Growling, nah.

I thought about writing a short story based in Belgrade. It would be called Hellgrade. But then I got lazy and listened to more music. If I ever do get around to writing it, I'll post it here because I'll be under the influence of my psychotropic medications. I wonder how awesome my writing would be if I were high on that crap. I think it's probably time to test out that theory. BRB, taking drugs.