I am mentally ill

Apparently I am now classified as 'mentally ill.' What I have is deemed 'a collection of chemical deficiencies' in my head. Psychosis is an illness, and it's mental, so I am now mentally ill.

I thought of this whilst I was driving home from the dentist and it kind of all fell on my lap at once. I really wanted left over tacos from last night, and was hungry because I didn't eat before going to the dentist because I am a nice person. Then all of a sudden, while I was blasting Die Antwoord in the city with the windows open, it more or less dick-slapped me in the mouth. I am actually mentally ill. It's a dichotomy because I feel fine, like a normal person, and then some dark figure walks by, or 'the voices' started up, and my concept of identity turns upside-down again. I can function in almost all aspects of life, and yet behind my 'closed doors' I am psychotic. It's very odd and difficult to explain.

Here is a picture of Korea I found in my screenshots folder.

Here is a different picture where I am riding out of a window with an automatic rifle.

Here is a picture of me killing Typhoid Mary with a locust-firing rifle. Yes: a rifle which fires locusts.

Here is a .gif I created showing me blasting a guy's face repeatedly. I think he was already dead.

Here is another .gif of me shooting a random scientist in the face and back a bunch of times.

I am beginning to feel as though I am going to snap soon. I have all this rage at life and my father that I know at some point it is going to burst and I am going to harm myself or someone else. I actually picture myself doing these things, but I have yet to determine if it's a hallucination or simply my imagination. Additionally, I don't actually play video games that much. I can't focus on them at all, and most times I end up sitting at my computer with music on, doing nothing. For example, right now I'm writing this expose detritus and I've got Kreayshawn on and it's the worst music I've ever heard in my entire life. It's literally not even worth stealing from the internet. I'm not saying I stole it from the internet, but I'm simply stating that if you were the type of person willing to compromise your morals by stealing, it's not even worth that. It sounds worse than Rebecca Black, a feat I never really though possible.

But I really am feeling violent. If you've read any of that background text, you probably are somewhat aware of what my life growing up was like.

Kinda shitty.

I'll go into it more in a subsequent post, because Kreayshawn is actually making me more upset than ever. I cannot believe this was actually released on an actual label. It is unbelievably bad. She's talking about swag being up in her ovaries. The fact she makes more money than I do is insulting to anyone with an IQ over 15. Goddamn.