27 September 2012

I can feel my tongue resting on my teeth

I just got home from four hours of psychiatric testing. Well, not exactly 'testing,' more like 'an interview, whereby the results will better indicate my illness so during follow-up meetings I might be better treated, tested, and cared for by a panel of nurses, psychiatrists, pharmacists, and counsellors.'

Here is a picture perfectly demonstrating my feelings upon the conclusion of the session:


I haven't been asked more questions since the day I was on the 'polls' section of the official Katy Perry forum website. Everything from drug use to sexual partners, from family history to current symptoms. I even had to fill out government forms, so now the government is aware of my problems. As if that will help to pacify my paranoia. I also have something called 'thought broadcasting' because when asked if I feel people are listening to my thoughts I replied 'yes.' This is primarily because I always see people naked when I look at them. It usually helps my anxiety if I think everyone's tits are out, the only downside being spontaneous public boners.

I think the tradeoff favours me.

The last week I have been feeling my tongue pressing against my lower front teeth. I can't find a comfortable spot for my mouthdildo anwhere. The week before I was feeling my throat -that little bit you can open and close if you want to breathe from your mouth or breathe like a normal person- and couldn't get it in the right place. Sometimes I forget how to yawn, also, and that's very irritating. This happens about twice a year for me. I successfully stifle one mid-yawn, then the next time I go for a pleasant yawn I can't do it. And this often persists for a few weeks before I accidentally forget my yawn performance anxiety and do it the normal way. Have you ever forgotten how to yawn? I think not.

Anyway, I'm in the planning stages of my first homegrown power hour. I'll post the link here when I'm done with it, but for now here are a couple clips which will be included. Consider yourself lucky.





PS. If you don't know what a power hour is and/or you have never done one, please kill yourself on my behalf.

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